Independent Film → Paranormal Activity Dissected
I just can’t believe the hype that all these people thought it was scary. One lady at work thought it was all true. I thought it was a pretty shitty way to spend an hour and a half. I took it upon myself to dispell her myth by showing her the IMDB page listing writers, directors, and actors.
Why it wasn’t scary to me:
You don’t hear crashing stuff at your house all hours of the day or night? You simply don’t have kids then. Doors don’t just open by themselves every once in while? I’ve been telling my son Alex (4) all that stuff we can’t explain is just the way it is…”like you gotta share with the invisible entities, just like imaginary friends, ‘cept a li’l different.”
I was saying to myself during the movie, “I hope this gets better.” Over and over I said that, especially during the last 10 minutes, and after it was over I continued to say it too. I looked for an alternate ending on youtube, you know for one that was good, and found that not only are there already over a thousand spoofs, but I like some of them better.
Movie Making Tip:
Put the real ending in the movie, don’t make me fucking hunt for it through endless piles of shit on youtube. Otherwise, the ending is the fucking ending.
Visually:
Paranormal Activity was the most appalling assault on the eyes ever, in cinematic history. Save for the bedroom scene – which was at least static but still sucked hairy monkey balls – For future reference to all other directors who want to make a movie of this nature, take a most important hint from The Blair Witch Project and make the person behind the camera a film student or at least someone who has used a camera before. The lack of a focal point though out the film among other things ruined it for me. They should have shown the mother fucking demon if nothing else, if that’s what it was even, I have my doubts. At this point I don’t see why it could not have been a troll of some sort, or a large Jack Rabbit with a pulling harness like a horse. Very likely that last one, and he must have had matches in his satchel for the fiery assault on the Ouija board.
At first I thought i was the only one who felt this way. Then a I stumbled upon this unhappy chap…he apparently shares my position, and describes his dis-appointment quite well.
Tags: WTF
